An Open Letter To You, On Your 34th Birtthday

Dear Dad, Daddy, Da-Da,

We wanted to write to you so you will never forget how we see you today.

It is kind of overwhelming deciding where to start so, of course, we'll let Mya go first.

Dad, I refer to you more and more as Dad but you and I both know Daddy slips out often. You are my world and if anyone asked me who I was going to marry, today....it would be you. You truly are my everything and at night when I say I'm not tired, its not really true....I just want a few minutes alone with you on the couch so we can talk numbers, volcanoes, my day, your day. You are my man, I hope you can remember all of that when I get "of age" it will never change, just be jaded by attitude. I'll be back. Happy Birthday, I hope you love the card I made for you at preschool, you were on my mind, I hope you love the paintings I made to decorate our dining room, you were on my mind when I made each one.

Daddy, as your only son we have a very special bond....you have a patience with me and swiftness that shows me you are the man of the house but that you respect me as your wing-man. You don't pressure me to fit a mold, you celebrate my successes and stay steady when I need encouragement. You have high expectations that will guide me to be a strong man. You see in me a future of adventure and a way to keep you young. I wish you Happy Birthday and thank you for showing me how to be an amazing man, now come home so we can eat this cake.

Da-Da, well the sun pretty much rises and sets on you....when you walk in the door after a long day of work I exclaim "DA-DA, NIGHT-NIGHT (meaning I get a bottle)" You are consistent and ALWAYS there, exactly what a little girl needs to see in a man. That must be the reason my smile is so bright as I nuzzle my soft, curly, head onto your shoulder and reach my arms around your neck and gently tap, tap, tap, as you carry me to bed. You are ALWAYS there for me.

Your 34th year marks a new beginning. You made a tough decision for your career because you love us. You wanted us to have the best life has to offer. You wanted us to feel included and challenged, you wanted to show us a side of the country we never thought we would see.

When it all comes down to it we know we are the greatest gift you have ever been given, because we made you shine...we made you a father, the only super-hero we know.

Happy Birthday.

It's Not Dew-Dew

We were walking this morning, outside!!!! The sun was shining the sky was blue, it was perfect.

We heard a helicopter approaching. I said, "Look guys, a helicopter!"

Mya and Enzo both whipped their heads around. When it's a plane they announce, "They goes Dew-Dew!!!! (Aunt Taylor)" They think she is in all the airplanes.

Today, Mya said, "Hmmm, that's not Dew-Dew, its a helicopter."

"Who is it then?" I asked.

"I think its Oprah," she said.

Found this one accidentally

Our trip to California over Thanksgiving got overshadowed by the surprise arrival and early birth of Sami. So I never really looked at the pictures until just now. This was taken the day before Sami was born. It was a great trip that only deserved to be cut short by that amazing child! It looks weird to only be a family of 4.

Dear Cincinnati,

I have just found myself in one of those rare moments....I'm alone. Antonio is off with the "big" kids and Sami is napping soundly. I made myself some breakfast and all of the sudden the rain clouds parted and the sun started shining through. I found myself on my front stoop and also found myself living in the moment, which is hard for me to do. My mind went to Cincinnati and I thought the Queen (not sure why it is called that) City deserved some of my attention.

Dear Cincinnati,

Wow. We have certainly been through some ups and downs together but today I've decided that I can't be mad at you.

You certainly keep me up at night with your imperfections, you have hurt people I truly care about, you often seem like you never want to change, but this morning....I find myself basking in the happiness you have brought into my life.

With you my marriage bounced back from its hardest days and we have brought home a running total of 3 children. This house that once seemed so empty is full, like....all.... the....time!

I assumed I had made all the amazing friends that a couple could have but no, you surprised me with friendships that have pushed me, held me, lifted me, challenged me, laughed with me, danced with me, parented with me, and cried with me.

I have neighbors that have helped me when we had no one to lean on, who ask me how I am and wait for the answer, who babysit my children so I can date my husband, who drop off coffee, and meals, and gifts for newborn babies.

This house has been full time after time celebrating babies, sunshine, goodbyes, breakfast, birthdays, holidays, and adoption days. Old friends share drinks and meals here, and new friendships have blossomed here.

I can honestly say there are 22 children (and more coming soon) that I cannot wait to see who they grow up to become and how their friendships with my children will blossom or possibly fade. All opportunities to grow for each of them.

Cincinnati, do I think we'll be together forever? Probably not, but today instead of seeing your glaring flaws I choose to see you for what you have given me.

A chance to be close to my parents, a chance to make mistakes, to make realizations, to become a mother, to provide a steady job that challenges Antonio and gives us options, but most of all you gave me friendships that have changed my life forever.

Thank you,
Jencie

Sami (We're Really the Ferraro Five Now!)

I haven't blogged about Sami.

I could post a huge list of reasons why but I won't bore you. I'm sure you can imagine what life was like with 3 kids 3 and under, now 4 and under.

It has been nothing short of chaotic, beautiful, frustrating, fulfilling, a nightmare and magical.

But oh, how did I ever live a single day without this beautiful, little girl in my life.

Some things that I don't want to forget, but know that I may:

1. Your mouth smells like how I imagine heaven. Sweet, warm, like a candy cloud... and makes my heart skip a beat.

2. Your smile makes me feel like the most important person in the world.

3.Your ability to fall asleep anywhere is beyond helpful.

4.Your eyes are so dark that I see my reflection in them, reminding me to be the best mother I can to you.

5. Your hand on mine is the most amazing contrast of colors both a sign of beauty and the long road we will be on together as we teach others it is okay to be different.

6.Your laugh. You laugh at my laugh it feels like the most give and take of my life as I lose track of who started it and I know I don't want it to stop.

7. You stomp your right leg to the beat and music calms you.

8. You sing along when your daddy sings you Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

9. When I lay you in your bed you smile up at me and roll to your side. When I come to check on you later you have shimmied so you are head to toe at the width of the bed...that is how you are most comfortable.

10. You have officially proven that it is impossible to fall in love only "so many" times, my heart is larger, my dreams for the future bigger, and my drive to be the one to give you all you need to be your best self, is stronger than ever before.

Little Samia, thank you for choosing us to be your parents.

Anatomy

Okay I may take it a little too far but I believe in complete honesty and factual description of what we politely call "our private areas."

It is my goal to protect my children from predators, young and old and to have an open line of communication when it comes to all things....all things.

Does it make me uncomfortable, yes. Does it make Antonio uncomfortable....absolutely. We do it for future Mya, future Enzo, and future Sami, we want them to be comfortable with themselves and their bodies, and comfortable talking with us about all that stuff that parents wish they could ignore.

Enzo is now potty training and after I corrected Antonio's attempt at calling a penis a "peanut" we have settled on what sounds like pea-nuss. Close enough.

The other morning Mya was perched on the couch with her cinnamon toast and ice water as Enzo was getting dressed. As he pulled on his Mickey Mouse underpants, Mya said:

"What if there was a pea-nuss that went all the way to the ceiling and someone cut it off (makes scissor motion with her hands)?"

I replied with, "Ouch! Well, people don't usually (try and tell me you aren't thinking about Lorena Bobbitt right now) cut off penises."

To which she said, "Oh, so you don't cut pea-nusses or hair."

Phew, that covers a couple of my fears.

Solving Problems

The other day both Mya and Enzo woke up with colds. No big surprise but the conversation that went on was nothing short of text-book sibling rivalry....

Mya (clutching fake money and credit cards that came with her new princess purse): "Enzo, I have a cold."

Enzo (in only underpants) "No you don't....I have a cold!"

Mya (still clutching money, now with a hand on her hip) "I DO TOO HAVE A COLD!"

Enzo: "No you don't."

Mya: (adds a stomp with her cowboy boot) "I do to have a cold. I'm going to throw my money!"

Me: "Mya, will throwing your money around solve your problems?"

Mya: "Yes. It will solve my problems, but it won't solve yours."

If only.....

Confessions of a Former Biter

I did it, okay?!?! She just kept taking that toy away. What was I supposed to do? In my head I heard my voice, "Hey! Give that back!" But when I open my mouth I am silenced. I mean I open it as wide as I can but instead of words I find my mouth closing in on the nearest inch of flesh I can find.

Yes! She dropped the toy!

Whoa...screeching, kicking, tears...MAKE IT STOP! She took MY toy, why is she crying?

Uh, oh. I hear stomping....its getting closer.....

Oomph, why is my mom carrying me out of the room? The screeching is following me. Geeze, Mom sure said NO really loudly. What followed NO? Was that biting? NO....BITING?!?!?!

Then it was like groundhog day, the same thing kept happening and happening. I was starting to hear, NO, BITING a lot. I just couldn't get my mouth to form the words and my sister always stopped if I used my teeth.

Then today, my sister wanted to touch my head while my mom changed me out of my pj's. I wasn't in the mood, I just wanted to get it over with so I could eat breakfast.

The next thing I know, I opened my mouth and out came, " Mya, no touch my head!" And she stopped.

Man, my mom has a pretty smile.

My Little Lie Uncovered HER Truth

As a mother I find myself telling little lies here and there to guide my kids in the right direction or to protect them from something. I surprise myself most times as lying does not come easy to me.

This morning on the way to pre-school I reminded Mya to eat her grapes. When she challenged me with her trademark, "Why?" I found a little lie bubbling up. My desire for her to consume every food group before going off to learn, led me down the dark path of mother-lies.

I heard women that came before me telling their child, "Eat your vegetables so you grow big/get muscles."

I knew Mya wasn't interested in big muscles so I lied with, "Eat your grapes, honey, because they keep your hair beautiful."

Both her hands opened up to the heavens, she looked at me like I was a moron, tilted her head to the side and said, "But my hair is already beautiful!"

Yes, you confident little child, it is. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you differently.

The Dating Game

Antonio and I recently celebrated our 9th anniversary. We were lucky enough to have grandparents in town who baby-sat while we enjoyed a date.

I got dolled up and came downstairs in my black dress and pretty heels. Mya stopped in her tracks, she is ALWAYS quick with the fashion confirmation.

"Oh, Mommy! You look so pretty! Where are you going?"

"On a date with Daddy, honey."

"Well, I really like your shoes."

The following Monday the kids were playing around and I heard Mya shuffling a bit with her purse items. She clomped over (wearing the heels I had on for my date) and informed me, "Melva and I are going on a date to the swingset. And Enzo is dating Boo-Berry."

They sprinted (yes she can sprint in any kind of shoe) to the swingset for their double date. I had a feeling of happiness as they see me dating their father as a wonderful thing.

I know that feeling will pass and they will soon be grossed out by us, and I will be longing for the days when they dated their dolls.

Never Drinking Again

I would describe Mya as a former milk addict. She had her box of vanilla milk first thing in the morning and then again right after nap. She would chug that thing down like she hadn't eaten all day. But the truth is she hadn't....

As soon as Mya turned 3 she stopped with the milk boxes and started eating! We are thrilled that meal time isn't as much of a struggle and love watching ALL the food groups get gobbled up.

The other night we went out to dinner then stopped for a family trip to Kroger. Antonio piled the kids in the Car Cart and off they went. I heard the kids ask in unison, "Daddy, MILKY please!" He promptly stopped in the organic section, reached for one chocolate and one vanilla, popped in the straws and we were off.

He said something to the effect of, that is so worth the peace and quiet while shopping.

Then it happened....we heard the groans....

Mya had begun clutching her stomach. "Ohhhhh, nooooo. Mommy, Daddy, why did you let me do this? I have no room for my milky. I'm NEVER. DRINKING.THAT.AGAIN!"

I know I've been there.

Anything To Get Outside

To say Enzo loves being outside is an understatement. One thing he knows is that he must have shoes on to get the door opened. He came to me the other day saying (in a dialect only I can understand) "Owwww-sighhhhh!"

I replied, "Sure Buddy, but you have to go find your other shoe." He promptly trotted off to the family room where it looks like a Toys R' Us exploded and picks up the first shoe he can find.

He limped over to me and looked up with those big, brown, eyes and a smile. Let's just say his speed in solving problems is more impressive than his attention to detail.

Don't Tell Me What I Am!

While enjoying a casual family lunch, on Easter, with Nanny, Mya began to pout as she pushed around her food.

Dindah asked, "What's wrong with her, is she full?"

"No," Nanny said, "She's M-A-D."

Mya scowled at Nanny and said, "No I'm not! I'm M-Y-A!"

Gum

Mya loves chewing gum, she loves when grandparents surprise her with a fresh pack, she asks for it constantly. When I deliver the daily piece to her, Enzo is on her heels pointing and grunting for his. I always say to him, "Sorry buddy, no gum for you until you are out of diapers." Mya has taken to repeating it for him, just in case he didn't understand me.

My hope is that his desire for gum will magically potty train him, but I know that is foolish!

Today I was gearing up to change Enzo's diaper. He makes it practically impossible with his strong legs and strong will. I asked Mya if she could help by running to get us a diaper and wipes.

She ran over handed them to me and then to Enzo said, "BUDDY! You are out of diapers, you can have gum now!"

Unfortunately, it just means I need to run and get more diapers.

Sorry, Enzo.

Life's Little Messes

The kids were literally bouncing off the walls and furniture after the latest leg of Snowageddon 2010.

I decided to take the cushions off the couch and put them on the floor to come as close as possible to replicating a trampoline, with hopefully less opportunity for injury.

At that moment I was feeling like the perfect combination of my parents until I looked back at the now cushion-less couch.

Enzo's (my garbage disposal) eyes lit up at the plethora of snack options and Mya (my cleaner) exclaimed, "I want to help clean up!"

We got out the vacuum and got rid of all of Enzo's tasty treats (gross). We made disappear cheeto handprints (from the Super Bowl), sticky sucker remnants, spilt milk, corn flakes, pretzels, popcorn, you name it!

They had a great time wiping it down and sucking up the gunk, now the only marks remaining on my couch are these:

Making Eyes Across the Room

It still gets me when we're in a large group and Tonio and I make eye contact across the room. It takes me back to being 18 and that where that same smirk or wink made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. There are quite a few more distractions in our lives these days, but these small moment bring it all back, home, to simply us.

But now there's another "man" in my life and today I was sitting at the computer, sneaking lunch. He was standing all the way across the family room at the train table. Our eyes met, then I waved to him and smiled. While holding his milk to his mouth with one hand, he waved to me with the other. Then he pulled his hand to his mouth and blew me a kiss.

In that instant, I felt so much love and a glimpse into my future. There will be fewer cuddles, more independence, less "Momma!" more, "Ma" or "Mom." Will that loving glance come from the school bus window, perhaps a wave from the football field, a wink after a performance? No one knows. I do know that I learned something today:

Here I am, blessed with two men, one big and one small. It doesn't matter at all that they look nothing alike, the magic is that they make my heart melt in exactly the same way.

Conversations Held in the Bathroom

I just stepped into the bathroom when I heard the familiar jingle of the door.

"Shoot, I forgot to lock it," I thought.

In peers the adorable face of Mya and she asked, "Do you need privacy?"

"Yes." I clearly replied.

"No? Okay. Hi, Mommy. Can you hold my water bottle. Here, Melva needs you to hold her too."

"Mya...(I tried to stay calm) I am on the potty, can you please take your things outside?"

Mya looks at me blankly, "Oh. Sorry. Do you need privacy?"

Hostess With the Mostess

I'm not sure what age I was when my mom taught me how to host a party but I'm assuming it was pretty young. Since then, I have become slightly obsessed with throwing a variety of celebrations. I thought now would be a good time to get Mya in on some of the decision making as we host together.

This morning we prepped to host a playgroup with all of Mya and Enzo's neighborhood friends. We loaded into the car as the sun was just starting to rise and took the familiar path to Kroger to pick up supplies.

Mya followed me around the store with Elmo on her hip and a large purse over her shoulder. We stopped several times so Enzo could point to the millions of valentine balloons that decorated the store. Then we stopped because Elmo just couldn't seem to keep his hands off the produce and Mya said he needed a time out.

Finally we made it to the juice aisle and I asked Mya, "What type of juice would you like to serve to your friends? There's fruit punch, cherry, orange...."

She tapped her chin with her finger as she contemplated their beverage of choice. Finally she settled on the perfect box and said, "How about the pickle one, yeah the pickle would be good."

Tomorrow I'm going to teach her the difference between a kiwi and a pickle.

Did I Do That?

We have cabin fever. It is awful and we all stare longingly out the window dreaming of days where we play outside.

During the summer we run to the stop sign at the end of our street. Lately, Mya has been asking on a daily basis if we can run to the stop sign. When I tell her it is too cold, I draw the line at 11 degrees, a tantrum is sure to follow. I get her feelings of disappointment, I'm feeling it too.

Today we offered to take her out in the balmy 34 degrees. We got her gear, pried the high shoes off, and pushed her feet into the snow boots. The only problem came about when she saw the pants I picked out for her to wear. "NO! I will NOT wear those. They don't match my outfit!" Yikes.

I think I have created a monster, a fashion conscious one, but a

monster none-the-less!

BooBerrie, where are you?!?!?!

Enzo has a lovie. His name is BooBerrie and he sleeps with him, carries him around the first 2 hours of the day, must have him at nap time, and rubs his soft little arms around his face to fall asleep. So to say we MUST have him around is an understatement.

As we head upstairs we often ask, "Where's BooBerrie?" Enzo usually turns his palms up to the sky and adds a questioning grunt, as he cocks his head to the side.

Over the holidays BooBerrie was tossed out the mini-van door without anyone noticing. Well, except Enzo noticed. We thought his tears were hunger, diaper, or exhaustion related so we kept on our way. Little did we know that BooBerrie was sitting alone in the parking lot of the Antique store where we had to stop for a potty break.

The next day Antonio searched (thank you Google Earth) for the correct Antique store and called them up. Low and behold BooBerrie was there! There he sat for a week until Dindah and Paw Paw were on their way to Columbus to pick him up.

Now we are much more diligent about keeping tabs on BooBerrie. However, we are always asking at bedtime, "Where is BooBerrie?". The other day, I just couldn't find him so I put Enzo to bed with his stand in, the less popular Woofie. I came down to finish loading the dishwasher and here is what I found.