Confessions of a Former Biter

I did it, okay?!?! She just kept taking that toy away. What was I supposed to do? In my head I heard my voice, "Hey! Give that back!" But when I open my mouth I am silenced. I mean I open it as wide as I can but instead of words I find my mouth closing in on the nearest inch of flesh I can find.

Yes! She dropped the toy!

Whoa...screeching, kicking, tears...MAKE IT STOP! She took MY toy, why is she crying?

Uh, oh. I hear stomping....its getting closer.....

Oomph, why is my mom carrying me out of the room? The screeching is following me. Geeze, Mom sure said NO really loudly. What followed NO? Was that biting? NO....BITING?!?!?!

Then it was like groundhog day, the same thing kept happening and happening. I was starting to hear, NO, BITING a lot. I just couldn't get my mouth to form the words and my sister always stopped if I used my teeth.

Then today, my sister wanted to touch my head while my mom changed me out of my pj's. I wasn't in the mood, I just wanted to get it over with so I could eat breakfast.

The next thing I know, I opened my mouth and out came, " Mya, no touch my head!" And she stopped.

Man, my mom has a pretty smile.

My Little Lie Uncovered HER Truth

As a mother I find myself telling little lies here and there to guide my kids in the right direction or to protect them from something. I surprise myself most times as lying does not come easy to me.

This morning on the way to pre-school I reminded Mya to eat her grapes. When she challenged me with her trademark, "Why?" I found a little lie bubbling up. My desire for her to consume every food group before going off to learn, led me down the dark path of mother-lies.

I heard women that came before me telling their child, "Eat your vegetables so you grow big/get muscles."

I knew Mya wasn't interested in big muscles so I lied with, "Eat your grapes, honey, because they keep your hair beautiful."

Both her hands opened up to the heavens, she looked at me like I was a moron, tilted her head to the side and said, "But my hair is already beautiful!"

Yes, you confident little child, it is. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you differently.

The Dating Game

Antonio and I recently celebrated our 9th anniversary. We were lucky enough to have grandparents in town who baby-sat while we enjoyed a date.

I got dolled up and came downstairs in my black dress and pretty heels. Mya stopped in her tracks, she is ALWAYS quick with the fashion confirmation.

"Oh, Mommy! You look so pretty! Where are you going?"

"On a date with Daddy, honey."

"Well, I really like your shoes."

The following Monday the kids were playing around and I heard Mya shuffling a bit with her purse items. She clomped over (wearing the heels I had on for my date) and informed me, "Melva and I are going on a date to the swingset. And Enzo is dating Boo-Berry."

They sprinted (yes she can sprint in any kind of shoe) to the swingset for their double date. I had a feeling of happiness as they see me dating their father as a wonderful thing.

I know that feeling will pass and they will soon be grossed out by us, and I will be longing for the days when they dated their dolls.

Never Drinking Again

I would describe Mya as a former milk addict. She had her box of vanilla milk first thing in the morning and then again right after nap. She would chug that thing down like she hadn't eaten all day. But the truth is she hadn't....

As soon as Mya turned 3 she stopped with the milk boxes and started eating! We are thrilled that meal time isn't as much of a struggle and love watching ALL the food groups get gobbled up.

The other night we went out to dinner then stopped for a family trip to Kroger. Antonio piled the kids in the Car Cart and off they went. I heard the kids ask in unison, "Daddy, MILKY please!" He promptly stopped in the organic section, reached for one chocolate and one vanilla, popped in the straws and we were off.

He said something to the effect of, that is so worth the peace and quiet while shopping.

Then it happened....we heard the groans....

Mya had begun clutching her stomach. "Ohhhhh, nooooo. Mommy, Daddy, why did you let me do this? I have no room for my milky. I'm NEVER. DRINKING.THAT.AGAIN!"

I know I've been there.

Anything To Get Outside

To say Enzo loves being outside is an understatement. One thing he knows is that he must have shoes on to get the door opened. He came to me the other day saying (in a dialect only I can understand) "Owwww-sighhhhh!"

I replied, "Sure Buddy, but you have to go find your other shoe." He promptly trotted off to the family room where it looks like a Toys R' Us exploded and picks up the first shoe he can find.

He limped over to me and looked up with those big, brown, eyes and a smile. Let's just say his speed in solving problems is more impressive than his attention to detail.

Don't Tell Me What I Am!

While enjoying a casual family lunch, on Easter, with Nanny, Mya began to pout as she pushed around her food.

Dindah asked, "What's wrong with her, is she full?"

"No," Nanny said, "She's M-A-D."

Mya scowled at Nanny and said, "No I'm not! I'm M-Y-A!"

Gum

Mya loves chewing gum, she loves when grandparents surprise her with a fresh pack, she asks for it constantly. When I deliver the daily piece to her, Enzo is on her heels pointing and grunting for his. I always say to him, "Sorry buddy, no gum for you until you are out of diapers." Mya has taken to repeating it for him, just in case he didn't understand me.

My hope is that his desire for gum will magically potty train him, but I know that is foolish!

Today I was gearing up to change Enzo's diaper. He makes it practically impossible with his strong legs and strong will. I asked Mya if she could help by running to get us a diaper and wipes.

She ran over handed them to me and then to Enzo said, "BUDDY! You are out of diapers, you can have gum now!"

Unfortunately, it just means I need to run and get more diapers.

Sorry, Enzo.

Life's Little Messes

The kids were literally bouncing off the walls and furniture after the latest leg of Snowageddon 2010.

I decided to take the cushions off the couch and put them on the floor to come as close as possible to replicating a trampoline, with hopefully less opportunity for injury.

At that moment I was feeling like the perfect combination of my parents until I looked back at the now cushion-less couch.

Enzo's (my garbage disposal) eyes lit up at the plethora of snack options and Mya (my cleaner) exclaimed, "I want to help clean up!"

We got out the vacuum and got rid of all of Enzo's tasty treats (gross). We made disappear cheeto handprints (from the Super Bowl), sticky sucker remnants, spilt milk, corn flakes, pretzels, popcorn, you name it!

They had a great time wiping it down and sucking up the gunk, now the only marks remaining on my couch are these:

Making Eyes Across the Room

It still gets me when we're in a large group and Tonio and I make eye contact across the room. It takes me back to being 18 and that where that same smirk or wink made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. There are quite a few more distractions in our lives these days, but these small moment bring it all back, home, to simply us.

But now there's another "man" in my life and today I was sitting at the computer, sneaking lunch. He was standing all the way across the family room at the train table. Our eyes met, then I waved to him and smiled. While holding his milk to his mouth with one hand, he waved to me with the other. Then he pulled his hand to his mouth and blew me a kiss.

In that instant, I felt so much love and a glimpse into my future. There will be fewer cuddles, more independence, less "Momma!" more, "Ma" or "Mom." Will that loving glance come from the school bus window, perhaps a wave from the football field, a wink after a performance? No one knows. I do know that I learned something today:

Here I am, blessed with two men, one big and one small. It doesn't matter at all that they look nothing alike, the magic is that they make my heart melt in exactly the same way.

Conversations Held in the Bathroom

I just stepped into the bathroom when I heard the familiar jingle of the door.

"Shoot, I forgot to lock it," I thought.

In peers the adorable face of Mya and she asked, "Do you need privacy?"

"Yes." I clearly replied.

"No? Okay. Hi, Mommy. Can you hold my water bottle. Here, Melva needs you to hold her too."

"Mya...(I tried to stay calm) I am on the potty, can you please take your things outside?"

Mya looks at me blankly, "Oh. Sorry. Do you need privacy?"

Hostess With the Mostess

I'm not sure what age I was when my mom taught me how to host a party but I'm assuming it was pretty young. Since then, I have become slightly obsessed with throwing a variety of celebrations. I thought now would be a good time to get Mya in on some of the decision making as we host together.

This morning we prepped to host a playgroup with all of Mya and Enzo's neighborhood friends. We loaded into the car as the sun was just starting to rise and took the familiar path to Kroger to pick up supplies.

Mya followed me around the store with Elmo on her hip and a large purse over her shoulder. We stopped several times so Enzo could point to the millions of valentine balloons that decorated the store. Then we stopped because Elmo just couldn't seem to keep his hands off the produce and Mya said he needed a time out.

Finally we made it to the juice aisle and I asked Mya, "What type of juice would you like to serve to your friends? There's fruit punch, cherry, orange...."

She tapped her chin with her finger as she contemplated their beverage of choice. Finally she settled on the perfect box and said, "How about the pickle one, yeah the pickle would be good."

Tomorrow I'm going to teach her the difference between a kiwi and a pickle.

Did I Do That?

We have cabin fever. It is awful and we all stare longingly out the window dreaming of days where we play outside.

During the summer we run to the stop sign at the end of our street. Lately, Mya has been asking on a daily basis if we can run to the stop sign. When I tell her it is too cold, I draw the line at 11 degrees, a tantrum is sure to follow. I get her feelings of disappointment, I'm feeling it too.

Today we offered to take her out in the balmy 34 degrees. We got her gear, pried the high shoes off, and pushed her feet into the snow boots. The only problem came about when she saw the pants I picked out for her to wear. "NO! I will NOT wear those. They don't match my outfit!" Yikes.

I think I have created a monster, a fashion conscious one, but a

monster none-the-less!

BooBerrie, where are you?!?!?!

Enzo has a lovie. His name is BooBerrie and he sleeps with him, carries him around the first 2 hours of the day, must have him at nap time, and rubs his soft little arms around his face to fall asleep. So to say we MUST have him around is an understatement.

As we head upstairs we often ask, "Where's BooBerrie?" Enzo usually turns his palms up to the sky and adds a questioning grunt, as he cocks his head to the side.

Over the holidays BooBerrie was tossed out the mini-van door without anyone noticing. Well, except Enzo noticed. We thought his tears were hunger, diaper, or exhaustion related so we kept on our way. Little did we know that BooBerrie was sitting alone in the parking lot of the Antique store where we had to stop for a potty break.

The next day Antonio searched (thank you Google Earth) for the correct Antique store and called them up. Low and behold BooBerrie was there! There he sat for a week until Dindah and Paw Paw were on their way to Columbus to pick him up.

Now we are much more diligent about keeping tabs on BooBerrie. However, we are always asking at bedtime, "Where is BooBerrie?". The other day, I just couldn't find him so I put Enzo to bed with his stand in, the less popular Woofie. I came down to finish loading the dishwasher and here is what I found.

NO!

All of the sudden Enzo is turning into a toddler and the baby moments are slipping away faster than I care to acknowledge.

As hard as it is to lose sight of your baby it is equally exciting to see our little guy grow in abilities every day.

It is really fun to witness his growing vocabulary. The list includes: Momma, My-ma, Dada, Nonna, Dindah, Paw-Paw, ball, dog, night-night, wow, whoa, bye, yo-yo (yogurt), and oh-oh (cheerio).

When times get tough, Enzo has a hard time expressing himself and his frustrations. Often times his big sister is the victim of biting/hitting/hair pulling. It is frustrating for all involved. He goes to Time Out after such "crimes" are committed. The Time Out is more for Mya's benefit as she quickly stops screaming when she sees he is being corrected. Antonio and I often look at each other in frustration thinking he's never going to "get" what Time Out means thus stopping the trouble behavior.

Today something clicked for Enzo..... Mya and I were working on play dough, crafting a dinosaur. Mya gave Enzo permission to take Elmo for a walk in the stroller. He smiled and took off. He abruptly stopped at the Time Out chair, removed Elmo from the stroller, placed him on the chair, pointed at him and said, "NO!"

So now we have a new word to add to the list. And maybe, just maybe, he understands what a Time Out really is!

The Breast is Best

We have all heard the saying amongst those in the La Leche and pediatric world that "The breast is best!" when it comes to feeding your infant. I completely agree, but also know my methods for feeding my children (bottles, nothing too fancy!) were more than close to second.

Needless to say, Mya has not observed a lot of breast feeding. She has been around it, sure, but never really noticed what was going on.

Today a friend was nursing her beautiful baby girl while Mya and the other kids ate their lunch at the table.

Mya looked at the mother and said, "What is she doing?"

Answer, "I'm feeding her milk."

Mya, "Buuuut she's on your body, on your boooobies?!?!"

I explained that babies get milk two ways, from a bottle and from their mommy's body. Then I crossed my fingers the conversation was over. It was.

Two hours later, Mya was in her rocking chair with her shirt lifted and Elmo up against her chest. She looked at me and said, "Elmo is eating me, just like ______."

Dodged That Bullet!

The dreaded envelope arrived in the mail....JURY DUTY.

Good news, it was for Antonio, not me.

Bad news, he shows up and finds out if he is selected he will have to serve during his whole holiday break, except Christmas Day. I was really bummed. I talked about it with some friends and surprise, surprise, Mya's listening ears were on.

To our delight he got out of serving on jury duty, and in Mya's excitement she announced, "Daddy has dirty bootie!"