Confessions of a Former Biter

I did it, okay?!?! She just kept taking that toy away. What was I supposed to do? In my head I heard my voice, "Hey! Give that back!" But when I open my mouth I am silenced. I mean I open it as wide as I can but instead of words I find my mouth closing in on the nearest inch of flesh I can find.

Yes! She dropped the toy!

Whoa...screeching, kicking, tears...MAKE IT STOP! She took MY toy, why is she crying?

Uh, oh. I hear stomping....its getting closer.....

Oomph, why is my mom carrying me out of the room? The screeching is following me. Geeze, Mom sure said NO really loudly. What followed NO? Was that biting? NO....BITING?!?!?!

Then it was like groundhog day, the same thing kept happening and happening. I was starting to hear, NO, BITING a lot. I just couldn't get my mouth to form the words and my sister always stopped if I used my teeth.

Then today, my sister wanted to touch my head while my mom changed me out of my pj's. I wasn't in the mood, I just wanted to get it over with so I could eat breakfast.

The next thing I know, I opened my mouth and out came, " Mya, no touch my head!" And she stopped.

Man, my mom has a pretty smile.

My Little Lie Uncovered HER Truth

As a mother I find myself telling little lies here and there to guide my kids in the right direction or to protect them from something. I surprise myself most times as lying does not come easy to me.

This morning on the way to pre-school I reminded Mya to eat her grapes. When she challenged me with her trademark, "Why?" I found a little lie bubbling up. My desire for her to consume every food group before going off to learn, led me down the dark path of mother-lies.

I heard women that came before me telling their child, "Eat your vegetables so you grow big/get muscles."

I knew Mya wasn't interested in big muscles so I lied with, "Eat your grapes, honey, because they keep your hair beautiful."

Both her hands opened up to the heavens, she looked at me like I was a moron, tilted her head to the side and said, "But my hair is already beautiful!"

Yes, you confident little child, it is. Don't ever let anyone ever tell you differently.

The Dating Game

Antonio and I recently celebrated our 9th anniversary. We were lucky enough to have grandparents in town who baby-sat while we enjoyed a date.

I got dolled up and came downstairs in my black dress and pretty heels. Mya stopped in her tracks, she is ALWAYS quick with the fashion confirmation.

"Oh, Mommy! You look so pretty! Where are you going?"

"On a date with Daddy, honey."

"Well, I really like your shoes."

The following Monday the kids were playing around and I heard Mya shuffling a bit with her purse items. She clomped over (wearing the heels I had on for my date) and informed me, "Melva and I are going on a date to the swingset. And Enzo is dating Boo-Berry."

They sprinted (yes she can sprint in any kind of shoe) to the swingset for their double date. I had a feeling of happiness as they see me dating their father as a wonderful thing.

I know that feeling will pass and they will soon be grossed out by us, and I will be longing for the days when they dated their dolls.

Never Drinking Again

I would describe Mya as a former milk addict. She had her box of vanilla milk first thing in the morning and then again right after nap. She would chug that thing down like she hadn't eaten all day. But the truth is she hadn't....

As soon as Mya turned 3 she stopped with the milk boxes and started eating! We are thrilled that meal time isn't as much of a struggle and love watching ALL the food groups get gobbled up.

The other night we went out to dinner then stopped for a family trip to Kroger. Antonio piled the kids in the Car Cart and off they went. I heard the kids ask in unison, "Daddy, MILKY please!" He promptly stopped in the organic section, reached for one chocolate and one vanilla, popped in the straws and we were off.

He said something to the effect of, that is so worth the peace and quiet while shopping.

Then it happened....we heard the groans....

Mya had begun clutching her stomach. "Ohhhhh, nooooo. Mommy, Daddy, why did you let me do this? I have no room for my milky. I'm NEVER. DRINKING.THAT.AGAIN!"

I know I've been there.

Anything To Get Outside

To say Enzo loves being outside is an understatement. One thing he knows is that he must have shoes on to get the door opened. He came to me the other day saying (in a dialect only I can understand) "Owwww-sighhhhh!"

I replied, "Sure Buddy, but you have to go find your other shoe." He promptly trotted off to the family room where it looks like a Toys R' Us exploded and picks up the first shoe he can find.

He limped over to me and looked up with those big, brown, eyes and a smile. Let's just say his speed in solving problems is more impressive than his attention to detail.

Don't Tell Me What I Am!

While enjoying a casual family lunch, on Easter, with Nanny, Mya began to pout as she pushed around her food.

Dindah asked, "What's wrong with her, is she full?"

"No," Nanny said, "She's M-A-D."

Mya scowled at Nanny and said, "No I'm not! I'm M-Y-A!"

Gum

Mya loves chewing gum, she loves when grandparents surprise her with a fresh pack, she asks for it constantly. When I deliver the daily piece to her, Enzo is on her heels pointing and grunting for his. I always say to him, "Sorry buddy, no gum for you until you are out of diapers." Mya has taken to repeating it for him, just in case he didn't understand me.

My hope is that his desire for gum will magically potty train him, but I know that is foolish!

Today I was gearing up to change Enzo's diaper. He makes it practically impossible with his strong legs and strong will. I asked Mya if she could help by running to get us a diaper and wipes.

She ran over handed them to me and then to Enzo said, "BUDDY! You are out of diapers, you can have gum now!"

Unfortunately, it just means I need to run and get more diapers.

Sorry, Enzo.